How to love.

"Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...but how much love we put into that action." Mother Teresa

I saw this quote on line the other evening, and it really hit home for me. Not just for the fact that I admire and think Mother Teresa was a wonderful human being. For the fact that this is so true, especially for us parents of drug addicts. It is not the things we do or do not so that show love. Every action we do for our children that are addicts is out of love. We love our children when they use and when they are not using. We love them even when they steal and lie. Even as they manipulate us, vanish and turn into people we don't know right before our eyes. We never stop loving our children. This is so hard for parents that do not have addicted children to understand. How can we allow this child lie, steal and disrupt our household over and over, yet still love them? Many of these parents say throw them out of you home, or cut them out of your lives. They are causing you nothing but heartache. Yes, while that may be true, and our hearts ache very deeply, for they are still our children. Most parents are not wired to turn off that love or simply walk away. I know I certainly am not. What they fail to realize, when we throw our children out, we stay up each night in fear of where they are, and if are they ok.  Each time a phone rings we panic and feel dread. Addiction really redefines our love as a parent and how we love our children. Whether we decide to let our children live with us, help them financially while they are in active addiction , that choice is out of love for our children. Or, we may choose to take a step back, from seeing how they are destroying themselves and us from their addiction. Detaching with love. We are detaching from the addiction, and all of the behaviors that come with it, not our children. As much as we love our children, and would give them the moon, we have to learn to to do what works for us.  To the parents that are so lucky not to have an addict for a child, I say no matter what choice the parent of a drug addict make, there is not right or wrong. For all choices are made out of love.